Fear

And this truth has been kicking my buns all.over.the.place. Seriously. See, here's the thing, I had been thinking I wasn't afraid of stuff. I believe God. I'm not afraid. But, that sweet, little Holy Spirit voice that whispers when we are ready to listen, He said that it wasn't so. And, what's more, I had an ugly root called "fear" growing in my spiritual garden that was producing flowers called: anger, aggravation, selfishness, self-centeredness, judgment, comparison, lack, defeat, despair, unbelief. Ick! Really? Cause I was thinking those were all just poor character choices alone. I'm thinking not. They are the result of fear running loose, ruling the roost and it's just so subtle. Fear says God isn't big enough, He can't rescue you and He's not in control. I would hear these voices, "This thing won't happen if you don't control this situation or person." "You can't count on God." "God is NOT ever going to rescue you because you aren't worthy ... you didn't follow this imaginary 'to do' list ... you are a sinner and grace isn't big enough for you." "God is small, so you'd better do this thing to fix this because He's not." "God forgot you." Or, whatever other flavor of lie that satan throws around that I listened to instead of willfully focusing on God and resting in His Truth.

See, fear IS a LIAR. Created by the father of lies, satan. You know, that guy who, as Job's wife said so eloquently in Job 2:9, would have me "Curse God and die." The one who only comes to "steal, kill and destroy." (John 10:10), who "prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." (1 Peter 5:8). That one. Big jerk. He's looks for opportunity in our lives, when things aren't looking so great by earthly measure to kick us in the teeth. And, he's so subtle that we don't even realize when we've jumped on his bandwagon. Dang it. And, the root starts to grow. And, the more we agree with satan's lies, the big and deeper that root takes hold and evidence of it begins to show in our lives, in our choices, in our reactions. Ugh.

Thankful that God is faithful to answer when we ask and simmer down long enough to really listen. Thankful that He is a Great, Great God and thankful that ...

"Where God's love is, there is no fear, because God's perfect love drives out fear. It is punishment that makes a person fear, so love is not made perfect in a person who fears."  1 John 4:18 (NCV)

"There is no fear in love (dread does not exist), but full-grown (complete, perfect) love turns fear out of doors and expels every trace of terror! For fear brings with it the thought of punishment, and (so) he who is afraid has not reached the full maturity of love (is not yet grown into love's complete perfection)."   1 John 4:18 (AMP)

Next time you see me and I have dirt on my hands and knees, it's because I've been hanging out with Jesus in my spiritual garden, pulling up weeds, hacking them from the root and planting me some real spiritual flowers: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness and self-control. (Galatians 5:21-22)

Feelings Are Not Fact!

Because the fruit is there, you just can't see it!
 

"My feelings are not God. God is God. My feelings do not define truth. God's word defines truth. My feelings are echoes and responses to what my mind perceives. And sometimes - many times - my feelings are out of sync with the truth. When that happens - and it happens everyday in some measure - I try not to bend the truth to justify my imperfect feelings, but rather, I plead with my God: Purify my perceptions of your truth and transform my feelings so that they are in sync with the truth."      

 - John Piper

Deep Thoughts ....

Handsome hubby and I are taking a class right now at church called “Experiencing God Through the Feasts of Israel.” This weeks’ class focused on Yom Kippur (Day of Atonement) and, because God’s just like this, the class was on the day of Yom Kippur. Unlike the other Jewish feasts, this is not a feast or celebration, but a fast. It is a day of dealing with the issue of sin. I won’t go into all the details because, for starters, I am not qualified. But, it is my understanding that on this day, even today, there are five times the Jewish people meet. One of these meetings is called the Minhah. It is an afternoon service that includes the reading of the book of Jonah. Why Jonah? Well, because …

• Jonah is a story about repentance and forgiveness.
• God’s compassion in Jonah is meant to be a model for us to copy.
• It is a great reminder that we cannot flee the service of God … as our teacher stated, God is a good chaser!

You see, Jonah didn’t want to go to Ninevah because he knew God was merciful and he knew the people were likely to repent and he didn’t want them to recieve God's mercy, he wanted them to receive God's wrath. Jonah even said, "I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity." Thank goodness we serve a God who is merciful! Jonah thought he would flee to Tarshish (opposite of Ninevah) thus thwarting God's plan, but God’s plan prevailed … as it always does. And sadly, even after God showed Jonah mercy by releasing him from the big fish, Jonah's heart didn't change. He remained unhappy that the Ninevites repented and sought the Lord.

How sad is that? And, how convicting! How many times is that me, acting just like Jonah? Deciding who "deserves" mercy and who doesn't instead of having God's heart for His people? What is God's heart? "The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance." 2 Peter 3:9.

Who are MY Ninevites? Who am I needing a heart change over? Serious questions that require serious prayer and truthful answers. We were encouraged in class to ask the Lord who we need to forgive and who we need to ask for forgiveness from. Deep thoughts … deep truth.

So, who are your Ninevites?