Fear

And this truth has been kicking my buns all.over.the.place. Seriously. See, here's the thing, I had been thinking I wasn't afraid of stuff. I believe God. I'm not afraid. But, that sweet, little Holy Spirit voice that whispers when we are ready to listen, He said that it wasn't so. And, what's more, I had an ugly root called "fear" growing in my spiritual garden that was producing flowers called: anger, aggravation, selfishness, self-centeredness, judgment, comparison, lack, defeat, despair, unbelief. Ick! Really? Cause I was thinking those were all just poor character choices alone. I'm thinking not. They are the result of fear running loose, ruling the roost and it's just so subtle. Fear says God isn't big enough, He can't rescue you and He's not in control. I would hear these voices, "This thing won't happen if you don't control this situation or person." "You can't count on God." "God is NOT ever going to rescue you because you aren't worthy ... you didn't follow this imaginary 'to do' list ... you are a sinner and grace isn't big enough for you." "God is small, so you'd better do this thing to fix this because He's not." "God forgot you." Or, whatever other flavor of lie that satan throws around that I listened to instead of willfully focusing on God and resting in His Truth.

See, fear IS a LIAR. Created by the father of lies, satan. You know, that guy who, as Job's wife said so eloquently in Job 2:9, would have me "Curse God and die." The one who only comes to "steal, kill and destroy." (John 10:10), who "prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." (1 Peter 5:8). That one. Big jerk. He's looks for opportunity in our lives, when things aren't looking so great by earthly measure to kick us in the teeth. And, he's so subtle that we don't even realize when we've jumped on his bandwagon. Dang it. And, the root starts to grow. And, the more we agree with satan's lies, the big and deeper that root takes hold and evidence of it begins to show in our lives, in our choices, in our reactions. Ugh.

Thankful that God is faithful to answer when we ask and simmer down long enough to really listen. Thankful that He is a Great, Great God and thankful that ...

"Where God's love is, there is no fear, because God's perfect love drives out fear. It is punishment that makes a person fear, so love is not made perfect in a person who fears."  1 John 4:18 (NCV)

"There is no fear in love (dread does not exist), but full-grown (complete, perfect) love turns fear out of doors and expels every trace of terror! For fear brings with it the thought of punishment, and (so) he who is afraid has not reached the full maturity of love (is not yet grown into love's complete perfection)."   1 John 4:18 (AMP)

Next time you see me and I have dirt on my hands and knees, it's because I've been hanging out with Jesus in my spiritual garden, pulling up weeds, hacking them from the root and planting me some real spiritual flowers: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness and self-control. (Galatians 5:21-22)